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4 SIGNS YOU'RE IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

By tamaramhango • 2 weeks ago • 70 views • 12 comments
4 SIGNS YOU'RE IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

Many toxic relationship habits are baked into our culture and we end up accepting them as normal.These are some of the worst ones

- A toxic relationship occurs when one or both people are priotizing love over the three components of a healthy relationship;respect,trust and affection.

-This might sound crazy to some people,but love should not be the reason to stay in a relationship and it can cloud our judgment in these over important areas.

-If you priotize the love you get out of a relationship over the respect you're given,you'll tolerate being treated like a doormat. If you priotize love over trust in the relationship,you'll tolerate lying and cheating.

-We tolerate bad relationships for all sorts of reasons. Maybe we're not self aware enough to realize what's going on, or maybe we don't have a good handle on our emotions,but all this does Is create a potentially abusive relationship

-Here are 4 signs of a toxic relationship you might think are normal.

1)THE RELATIONSHIP SCORE-CARD

 What is it? The "keeping score" phenomenon is when someone you're dating continues to blame you for the past mistakes .If both people in the relationship do this it devolves into what I call "The relationship score-card" where the relationship devolves into a battle to see who has screwed up the most over the months or years,and therefore who is the most indebted to the other. Not only are you deflecting the current issue by focusing on previous wrongs,but you're ginning up guilt and bitterness from the past to manipulate your partner into feeling bad in the present.

2)DROPPING "HINTS" AND OTHER PASSIVE AGGRESSION

What is it? instead of saying something outright and out loud,a partner tries to nudge the other in the right direction of figuring it out. Instead of saying whats actually upsetting you, you find small and petty ways to piss your partner off,so you'll then feel justified in complaining to them.

It's toxic because it shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing anger of insecurity within a relationship. A person will never feel a need to drop "hints" if they feel like they won't be judged or criticized for honesty.

3)HOLDING THE RELATIONSHIP HOSTAGE

What is it? When one person has a simple criticism or complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole, For instance ,if someone feels like you've been cold to them instead of saying," I feel like you're being cold sometimes," they will say ," I can't date someone who is cold to me all the time."

Holding the relationship hostage amounts to unnecessary drama. Even the smallest hiccup in the flow of the relationship results in perceived commitment crisis

-But understand that commiting to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing.

You can be committed to someone and not like everything about them

- On the contrary two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism without judgment or blackmail will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long-run.

4) BUYING THE SOLUTIONS TO RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

What is it? Whenever a major conflict or issue comes up in a relationship,instead of solving it,you cover it up with the excitement and good feelings that come with buying something nice or going on a trip somewhere. Not only does buying stuff brush the real problem under the rug but it sets an unhealthy precedent within the relationship

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12 Replies | Last update 22 hrs ago | Last comment

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    2 weeks ago

    Following

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    2 weeks ago

    Following 

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    2 weeks ago

    Thank you very much for the cautionary words

  • »
     
    2 weeks ago

    Thanks for the warning 

  • »
     
    2 weeks ago

    THANK YOU

  • »
     
    2 weeks ago

    Following closely 

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    22 hrs ago

    A lot of people are in toxic Relationships today due to lack of self-love. So when they start dating someone, they tend to forget and lose themselves. This results in putting up with a lot of abuse in the relationship because they are not confident enough to leave and start all over again. Often times they get used to the abuse such that they don't even realize they are in a toxic relationship.

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    2 weeks ago

    Thanks for the update 

  • »
     
    2 weeks ago

    following

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    2 weeks ago

    I was in a toxic relationship for years but now Thank God I moved on.

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    2 days ago

    This is a very sensitive matter...thanks for information

  • »
     
    2 weeks ago

    Wow

    How is culture related to relationship, love they say? 

    If you feel you aren't treated wel in your relationship why not live instead of living insecure. 

     

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